The "Bad Book" is a large notebook hidden
away in the Montoya's Rancho that is used to record all of the mischief and bad deeds that happen in the household.
If you call your sister names, you get put in the bad book. If you spill the dinner or break a precious jar, you get
put in the bad book.
Every year at Christmas time, Solana, Greta and Willow look through the bad book to decide which of
the dolls will get presents from the doll's Santa Clause, and which dolls will not because of their bad behaviour
during the year.
However, besides being a means of deciding on who should get
presents or not, the bad book is a hilarious history of the funny things that the Montoya children have done in the past years.
We like to look back and laugh about the many fixes the Montoya children have gotten themselves into, and reminisce about
how little they were then.
So, without further ado----- we present -----
The Bad Book!
THE BAD BOOK, 2008:
Clara: said "hola, you are a nut" to Juan for no reason
Francisca: knocked a red candle into Josefina's food in front of Padre.
spoke out of turn and knocked Heather to the floor
Juan: said "let's get this party started" before
Juan: broke his new rosary
Juan: said "yay! I cannot wait
to break the first rule of 2008!"
Josefina, Clara, Rebecca, Juan and Antonio: listened in on Francisca's
Rebecca: says, "thank you for this swine," during communion
Juan: was greedy
and grabbed a handful of chips during communion
Juan: said to a reporter that he was man of the house,
Juan: ate a rotten fish that was fertilizing in el jardin (the garden) y got scurvy.
Juan: broke into the General Store
tried on General Merriman's coat
Juan: slapped Clara
Juan: stole food
Josefina: let Pimientos chew up the Parkington's phone line and couch
said the dinner prayer wrong
Antonio: knocked over the china shelves and ran away afterwards
called Papa a big fat goat
Antonio: called Juan a skinny wimpy goat
THE BAD BOOK, 2007:
Francisca: "If I know where the money was, I
would steal it!"
Francisca: "Why is everyone picking on me? I just wish that everyone could leave
Francisca: trusted two robbers and lost $150 and a pair of moccasins
"So you see, I was the smart one."
Juan: said, "I was hoping for cervesa, not a rosary!"
Juan: said, "Josefina
is as smart as a donkey."
Juan: says that Nancy is a criminal.
Juan: called 'Tonio "estupido"
called Clara "estupido"
Francisca: Complained about Papa giving her a "lecture"
yelled at Mama for giving the same "lecture"
Francisca: said to Antonio - "If you say that one more
time I will come over there and gag you!"
Antonio: called Kirsten Larson a pancake.
said, "Oh, she looks evil..." about one of the saints.
Juan: says to San Jose, "please save me from
Rebecca: giggled that Juan got in the bad book.
Clara: stole Antonio's
hat y hid it in la atalaya. (the watchtower.)
Rebecca: said "something really stinks- Juan, wash
Juan: took a bath in the goat cheese!
Rebecca: kicked Antonio
yelled "cut it out, snorksnout!" to Rebeccascita.
Antonio: said "the grim reaper? Oh but that is
Clara: wonders aloud how many rats there are in Sonja's hair at the Nutcracker rehearsal.
bosses Angelica around and acts ridiculous in Trepak rehearsal.
Rebecca: was lazy and assumed that there
was no pimientos (chiles) in el jardin (the garden.)
THE BAD BOOK, 2006:
Juan: punched Rebecca in the face
yelled at Mama and Papa
Juan: threatened to punch Clara for touching his pipes
Juan: broke his Rosary
Antonio: took three sips of Papa's beer when he
thought no one was looking
Clara: said to Juan, "do you have everything to do with your boy friends?"
said, "I have been the good one."
Juan: drank some beer at the New Year's party.
Josefina: tried to get the chickens to attack Antonio
"the Chickens like ME! Not Antonio."
Josefina: says "don't you touch my Chickens...por favor."
Francisca: brags, "I am very wise."
Antonio: lets the chickens eat the last of the Indian Corn.
Josefina: after being praised by Mama and Papa says, "hear that, Francisca?"
ate Mama's goat cheese
Francisca: fell down from the watchtower on purpose.
put cow manure in a cure for Rebecca
Francisca: tried to strangel 'Tonio for eating her goat cheese when
it was actually Juan who did it.
Josefina: avoided doing her weaving every way she could think of.
says, "I'm so beautiful!"
Rebecca: then says, "I was only saying that because I want to be like Francisca."
Rebecca: says "That's not helping!" to Papa after he says "tenga hambre"("I'm hungry")
blames Heather for her own bad cooking.
Josefina: would not help Francisca with cena. (dinner)
tattles on 'Tonio several times.
Antonio: stuck out his tongue at Josefina when proved innocent.
throws butter at 'Tonio
Josefina: said to 'Tonio: "Non! I want the bull droppings!"
sneezed on the tortilla recipe.
Josefina (times 2!): knocked down all the freshly-made tortillas and guitaros.
"you need to put 'Tonio in the Bad Book more."
Antonio: said "I'm so tired that I can't tell diablo from God."
when asked for the brush by Mama, says "no! I'm still using it!" after a whole hour.
that she will roast Cristal Purr on the fire for poking Manuella (a chicken) with the bungee. (weaving tool)
pulls Josefina's braid
Juan: says that Rebecca is the most like a boy of the girls
Rebecca: almost got four plates stuck in the large skillet!
pimientos (the horse) eat the Parkington's lilacs. Had to pay $10 for.
Juan: Is a little too gleeful
that Clara got in trouble.
Francisca: accused Mama of being rude!
all day before the sewing circle putting ridiculous flowers in her hair.
Rebecca: yells loudly at 'Tonio
for wanting food.
Antonio: said that Rebecca had the burning touch of evil death.
dressed like Heather to chase el pollos (the chickens.)
Josefina: sold half of the house to Alex so she could go camping.
said, "I think 'Tonio is el Diablo in disguise!"
Francisca: threw the bible at Mama and thought it was
Antonio: told Rebecca that there was no reason to think she was pretty.
Francisca: sang "I'm so pretty," at the top of her voice and would not stop.
sang "I'm so pretty," in the wrong key.
Francisca: says "I'M the experienced cook, not Josefina, so I
should cook with Ruthie!"
Rebecca: suggests that Mama has favorites.
Juan: says that church is boring.
Juan: says that the only reason he
is getting in the bad book is because 'Tonio is injured and can't move.
Rebecca: acts a little too nervous
at confession time.
Juan: listens and comments on Clara's confessions.
asleep during communion
Josefina: giggled in glee about Francisca getting in the Bad Book.
locked Polly Wickon in her hope chest!!
Josefina: says that Mrs. Larson's cooking is slimy.
runs at Papa like a wild bull when he brings llama to stay at Merriman's casa.
Juan: said "yay!" when
Francisca told him 'Tonio as not better yet.
Rebecca: spilled enchilada sauce in town square.
Josefina: threw the
money bag at Papa and it landed in el rio. (the river.)
Juan: spills oats all over the Larson's
Rebecca: peered out the window so far she fell out and could have hurt herself very much if Francisca
had not caught her.
Josefina: says "Francisca, you must have been sneaking second helpings lately!"
says "No! I'm not a servant!" when Papa tells him to tend to the animals.
Juan: locked Rebeccacita
in the Larson's storm shelter.
Francisca (times 5): tattle taled
over Mama's guacomole avacadoes while they were roasting
Rebecca: hid Britta Larson in Francisca's hope chest so that she couldn't go home.
ran and hid from Papa in the Larson Farm.
Rebecca: did not come to Papa when he called for her.
blamed Britta for the mischief.
Juan: said that he would hit 'Tonio on the head when 'Tonio gets better.
Francisca: refuses to make tortillas
Francisca: insists on always wearing a branch of an apricot tree in her hair.
Juan: says no to Papa when asked to get out of the waterfall.
to Papa, "you evil!"
Rebecca: kicked Mama
Juan: told llama to play hide and seek and the llama ate el jardin (the garden.)
kicked Mama and screamed uncontrollably when Kuzco tore up her jardin.
Juan: let llama wander away from
el fields y said he was playing "hide and seek"
Antonio: threw la agua (the water) at Francisca
when she asked for agua, and la cocina (the kitchen) got wet.
Francisca: bought coffee from the general store with Josefina's money, then hid it from the
Antonio: says that Francisca looks like a pig when she has curls.
Juan: laughs as if what Antonio said was funny.
Rebecca: accused Antonio
of calling people names (when he wasn't for once.)
Juan: says that excercise is as likely to keep someone
alive as Rebecca is likely to be fashionable.
Rebecca: said to Francisca, "I think your head grew bigger during the night!"
threw a snake at Clara
Clara: called Juan, "you buzzer!"
Antonio: called Rebecca "stupid."
Rebecca: says that nobody likes her so she deserves Papas Pimientos. (spicey potatos)
Clara: takes a sip of coffee from the Larsons right after Papa directly told her, "no coffee!"
Juan: Did not help with the hay harvesting at trading day and only
ate food the whole time.
Clara: says that Rebeccasita's handwriting is big y ugly.
bets that Rebecca will have the most in the bad book.
Clara: GOOD! "My stomach is as big as Heather's
Clara: tattles on the boys all evening.
Antonio: said that Francisca's head
would burst at about 7 o'clock.
Francisca: accused Mama of playing silly games!
says "My stomach is as big as Francisca's nice big head!"
Juan: after Clara says "I have a big head,"
Juan says, "almost as big as Francisca's!"
Antonio: says that everyone calls Polly Wickon "Prissy Polly"
mimics Francisca, "Don't call me Fransica"
Francisca: cries and says that no one cares about her feelings
and makes a horrible impression on her sisters.
Francisca: when Rebecca says "yay! Francisca gets
to sleep with me!" Francisca yells, "NEVER!"
Rebecca: throws a snake into the watchtower
says "Oh no, Antonio's back" when Antonio returns from the hospital.
Clara: says "oh bugger" too many
Francisca: let Pimientos eat a curl off one of Cristal Purr's wigs costing la familia $200!
ran from the scene of the crime
Francisca: was mean to Pimientos while delivering el laundry.
almost breaks her limbs while learning the Sugar Plum Fairy
Francisca: insulted Josefina's dancing
pretended to kick Angelica out of frustation
Juan: says "No! I'm the head of the household!"
THE BAD BOOK, 2005:
to allow Francisca to go through her things.
Josefina: Loudly protests giving good jeans to the
Clara: yells, "I will never allow you to do that!" to
Mama and Papa.
Clara: Mops boy's faces to wake them up.
Rebecca: Called Papa a "meany"
Lied and said that she actually called him a "nicey."
Rebecca: Snitched food from the stove.
Peeked at his Christmas presents.
Josefina: Went swimming instead of doing her chores and got her
clothes sopping wet.
Francisca: Spends too much time looking at herself in the mirror.
Pours water on Antonio's head.
Juan: Runs away and hides when under Josefin'as charge in Town Square.
Is not respectful and complains about getting rid of useless things.
Josefina: Is very slow and lazy, even
after having a siesta.
Clara: Makes up schemes to get out of helping Mama with skeins of yarn.
Called Rebecca "BeckyPoo"
Rebecca: Insulted Josefina's weaving
Clara: Called Rebecca "Sissy Poo"
Complains about bossy sisters
Francisca: Gets mad at Josefina for looking in her mirror
Tries to get all of her sisters to bed before their bedtimes
Clara: Called Lara Larson to schedule
trading day without permission
Juan and Antonio: Said Rebecca's cooking tastes worse than dirt.
Comes to dinner in only a bathrobe after swimming in the waterfall all day.
Josefina: Did not
get home before it was dark
Juan: Said the world would be a better place without Josefina.
Said that Mama should write Juan and Antonio in the bad book so they won't get presents.
"Jesus died a long time ago! Who cares!"
Francisca: said "why do I just get a stuffy chicken
and Josefina gets an owl?"
Francisca: says "stupid chicken."
Antonio: Put rotten fish in the girl's hair
Juan: said "Mama, how clumsy can you get?!"
Was sassy to Mama
Josefina: says, "You're just jealous that I'M the Sugar Plum Fairy!" to Alison.
THE BAD BOOK, 2004:
Mama and yells at her: "Well you don't have to complain about my cleaning!"
Clara: When asked
to put salad away, crawled under the cupboard and hid.
Clara: Put lettuce in Mama's pot from Abuelita.
KT: Knocked Josefina's bed over.
KT: Acted haughty and
did not listen to Rebecca.
Alison: Tried to steal the Larson's horse, thinking that it was Kaya's.
Wrote in the bad book.
Clara: Knocked Papa's violin around.
KT: Said to
Mama: "aren't you going to put that away?" With a glare.
KT: Mumbled mean things about
being a slave after being told that she needed to do the dishes.
~ When Mama, Papa, and Clara are gone for
two weeks: ~
Josefina: Grabbed Juan by the
seat of his pants and threw him out the door.
Rebecca: Slept in the goat shed for a week, neglecting
KT: Dropped Mama's ancient cup carrying in the dishes, causing it to almost
Josefina: Called Antonio an "awful" and a "greedy."
Ate a whole plate of pinon nuts.
Antonio and Juan: Went in the kitchen with dirty feet.
Did not keep Antonio and Juan out of the kitchen when Josefina told her to.
Antonio: Almost caused
one of Mama's most precious jars to fall to the ground and break.
Josefina: Slapped Antonio on the
Alison: Fed everyone's dinner to her lizard.
KT: Was hungry and
jumped on the table knocking all the food onto the ground.
KT: Ate the food off the floor.
Gave up when food was on the floor and ran up to her room crying like a baby.
KT: Screams when she
has to go to Miss Elka. (A family friend that helps solve conflicts within the family.)
Broke Mama's vase.
KT: Didn't do her chores when Josefina told her to.
us $25 by ruining the dinner.
Josefina: Held Antonio in a firm grip and when he asked her to let
go she did not.
Antonio and Josefina: Did not get along.
Alison: Was mean
to Juan and spilled food.
Juan: Threatened Alison and was very greedy.
KT: Said that the Patron should not eat so much.
Alison: Let Dude loose downtown and
he bit Cristal Purr
Alison: Let Dude loose again;
Dude bit Antonio and put the goats in Mortal Peril.
Alison: Was rude to Paul when
he came over to visit Juan and Antonio.
Josefina: Ignored Antonio when
he tried to talk to her
Josefina: Read the Bad Book
Antonio: Said: "You say 'hola'
in MY household." (He has forgotten that he is no longer the Patron!)
KT: (Times 15!!!) Grabbed
Mama, jumped on her and tried to grab her candle by scratching Mama in the face.
Alison: Ordered Heather to sew
her a skirt.
Antonio: Was a tattletale.
THE BAD BOOK, 2003:
KT: Called Papa a
Rebecca: Ran away and climbed in the Larson's window getting away from Mama.
Ate Rebecca's bread.
KT: Yelled the "pledge of allegiance" at the top of her lungs in class, which
led to complaints from Miss Samantha.
Heather: Miss Samanth had to put her in the back row after
she didn't pay attention in recitation class.
Alison: Told Josefina to get a record time in cleaning,
causing Josefina to mess up the entire house in her haste.
Rebecca: Caused Alison to fall off her
Alison: Laughed when Papa said "Ow" after stubbing his toe.
Turns her back on Mama when she is told to do her chores.
Alison: Tries to act like a soldier and
knocks a burrito onto the floor.
Alison: Talks in an accent and does Irish Dance in the Ballet studio.
Called Heather a "bad, bad girl."
Alison: Let Clara's pet pincher bug in the kitchen.
Ran screaming and shivering through the house so she wouldn't have to listen to Mama and Papa.
Stuck a pincher bug in Alison's pants, causing the above.
Alison: Did cartwheels all over the kitchen
and wouldn't stop- she just said: "yahoo!"
Alison: Hit Josefina on the head with a soccer ball while
Josefina was scrubbing the floor.
Josefina: Tried to box Ali's ears.
Ate all the sugar.
Josefina: Blames Alison for everything. (not surprising!)
Was a nuisance to the Merrimans.
Clara: Blocked the store room so that I couldn't get the bad book.
Signed up to go to Ireland at two a.m. without permission.
Alison: Called friends "Laurapoo" and
Rebecca: Was mean to the animals.
Rebecca: Stepped on a
Rebecca: Stayed overnight at her store, and didn't come home before the rancho gate closed.
Stayed at Britta's house for a week and didn't tell Mama.
Rebecca: Tried to escape from Mama, messed
up the chinese restaurant while doing so, and tried to hide in the proper school.
Was the height of rudeness in class.
Alison: Muttered mean things under her breath.
Makes fun of Mama.
Rebecca: Mutters mean things under her breath.
Wears Heather's clothes without asking, just because they are
KT: Knocks Josefina's
Juan: When he found out that Clara was missing in the blizzard, he said:
"Oh Good! I don't like Clara."
Josefina: Didn't write in the family journal for over a month,
and just ran away.
Clara: Didn't dust the kitchen for two months.
Called Josefina a tattletale.
KT: Made Heather do all the work when Mrs. Fox (a very wealthy lady),
came to their restaurant.
Rebecca: Hid in Clara's cello case.
Filled the clothes iron with pincher bugs.
Alison: wrote in the bad book.
Said "neener-neener" to Josefina.
Clara: Stopped Rebecca from talking to Alison by covering
Alison: Did NOTHING whatsoever.
Clara: Dumped a bag of pincher
ants on Laura Windmill's head.
Alison: Uses haughty and disrespectful voice when speaking to Papa.
Slept for the whole Christmas vacation.
THE BAD BOOK, 2002:
Rebecca: Got angry with the mailgirl because she said
"Hello Little Montoya" and told Mama that it was insulting.
Rebecca: Stole Papa's cookie.
Wears roller skates when doing her chores.
Alison: Tricks Josefina by pretending to fall in the
river. Josefina dove in three times trying to save her.
Alison: Sings annoying song while
she gets dressed for supper and doesn't stop.
Alison: Hides Bizcochito (a goat) in her room.
Scares Sombrita (another goat), by telling her that she was going to teach her a lesson.
Ignored Mama, then laughed.
Alison: Dropped the bad book in her applesauce... "accidently."
Doesn't clean her room for a week.
Alison: tried to delay Papa from going up to her messy room.
Messed up the guest room.
Alison: Stuck out her tongue at Alex (Chen) when she didn't win the game.
Went to hide in the secret spot after she was in trouble; Josefina had to drag her out.
Got put in charge and was mean to everyone the entire time.
THE BAD BOOK, 2001:
Josefina: Peeked at candies in her birthday
Josefina: Did not listen to Mama and Papa when they said not to look at presents.
Did not tell the truth to Mama
Clara: Said "Blaaaaah" when Mama mentioned Paul Windmill.
Did not tell Mama that she was going to the Ice-Skating Rink.
Josefina: Annoyed Alison's friends
at her birthday sleepover.
Alison: Didn't do what Mama told her to do and said: "I would rather
have apple cider."
Rebecca: Knocked down Mama and laughed
burps without an "excuse me."
Clara: Says to Mama and Papa: "you must be punish!"
Tells Mama and Papa that she will give us a 'bumby' (a cold, dark cave.)
Clara: Bothered the eighth
grade at school.
Rebecca: Did not answer Mama and Papa when asked a question.
Took the "queen" crown from Josefina, and told her Papa "NO!" when he asked to see it.
Rebecca: Said "I'm sleep-walking" when Mama asked her to do something.
Took Alison's special key. (Magic Attic Fans, anyone?)
Josefina: Impolite at party to Mrs.
Rebecca: Didn't eat her breakfast.
Clara: Did not listen to
Mama and Papa.
Josefina: Lay on the ground and tried to get dirt on her hair and clothes.
Didn't go to bed when Mama told her to, pretended to be Michael
Nina from Josefina.
Rebecca: went into Alison's secret room without permission.
Says "why is everyone bothering me?"
Clara: Threw wet laundry at me while I was fixing lunch in
Josefina: Went away while Mama was telling her something.
Talked to someone when Mama told her not to.
Clara: Got up at two in the morning and made a club
with her friends called the "mothers who don't let them do anything" club, a club who's first mission was
to destroy the
Josefina: Laughed at me when I tried a new look.
Alison: said to Mama:
"You're not my mom, so you can't order me around!"
Alison: Pulled the phone cord out when I was
talking to her mon, ( and getting her in trouble.)
Heather: Complains because she got last place
in the Cinco de Mayo
competition. (Papa got last place.)
Rebecca: Is disrespectful to
Mama and Papa
KT: Lies, then says that she is a grown up to the mail girl.
Lies AGAIN, and says that she is 8 years old. ( she was really years old at the time.)
Rachel fell in the river and Heather merely walked away to do her chores.
THE BAD BOOK, 2000:
Josefina: Yelled at Sombrita.
Argued with her friends over who is the "nicest mother."
Josefina: Said to Papa- "No seeing my secret
Clara: Knocked countless clothes into the river while washing them.
Yelled at Clara and Rebecca.
Clara: Kept doing what Rebecca told her not to do.
Peeked at a ballet student while they were dressing.
Josefina: Got sick on purpose.
Called ballet student "Felicity-Bedilly."
Rebecca: Went into her room when Josefina told her not
Rebecca: Called Mama "Mom."
Josefina: Did not leave any stirfry for
Josefina: Said: "I'm already finished with my chores, so there!" to Mama.
Burnt the stove and ran to hide under her bed so Mama could not find her.
Clara: Hid Nina (Josefina's
doll), and lied about where she was.
Josefina: Peeked in the bad book.
Put Ali's shoe in the oven."
Rebecca: Threw Josefina's tiara in the river.
Didn't tell Mama the truth.
Rebecca: Hid Josefina's blue box.
Mama and kept whispering "cake, cake, cake, cake."
THE BAD BOOK, 1999
Clara: said Mama sounded like a frog.
would not tell us what "the gang" is.
Josefina: Did not tell us she went to Samantha's house.
Read Josefina's diary
Clara: Went to Anna's house for three hours without doing
her chores or