Laura Windmill and Josefina Montoya
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Hi Jos,                              Oct. 3.06
That is funny that u think u r in a weird mood being happy and grumpy every other minute, cuz that’s the way u always r!  Duh!  Lol hahha.  Uh-oh, I might have 2 inform the police cuz u forgot to put the date on
ur letter!  *tsk-tsk*!  So u like, weave, right?  That’s cool.  Do u weave ur
own clothes?  U r so lucky u don’t have 2 pay bills, omgsh!  It’s so annoying!  R u going 2 the masked ball?  What r u being?
Luvs, Laura

Heyyy Dude,                              8/7/06
I’m not quite deaf yet but I’m almost there.  Suzanne is singing some dumb opera that has such high notes that I have 2 put my hands on my ears so that I don’t scream in frustration.  ‘sup w/u?  I’ve just been doing the mail and stuff like that.  Y’know, the usual.  It’s raining like no1’s business outside right now.  It’s like sum1 is dumping buckets and buckets of water from the sky.  (Must be hun-ya-wat!)  U know what sucks?  Mrs. W’s rose bushes are climbing into my house thru the cracks in the walls.  Uuughhh…and they smell so strongly it’s disgusting.  Why can’t I call you “yo jo”?  I think it’s cool.  YO HO like wut Pirates say?  Y’know?  Well I guess you guys just give Mrs. W. a lot to gossip about or sumthin’.  Isn’t this stationary freaky?  It’s Paul’s, but he never writes letters.
Luvs, Laura

Hey Laura,                       August 20th, 2006
For your information I am not a hose!  Ingles is English in Spanish!  Fine!  I will try not to speak Spanish in your letters!  Well you are complaining about my complaining about your complaining!  Ha!  Enough said about the Wickons though, k?  How is it without your wisdom teeth?  Uh oh- Laura lost all her wisdom!  HaHa!  J/k!  I am in a weird mood today!  One minute I’m happy and the other I’m grumpy!  Well, wat ‘sup with you?  That would be fun to be in the circus!  Lol!  Ttyl, Luv, Josefina

Heeyyy Josee,                            Aug. 8.06
U know what?  U did somethin’ illegal on
ur last letter yo.  U 4gotthe date.  Goshh…lol.  Haha, u spelled English wrong!  U spelled it Ingles, ha ha ha.  I don’t know y u bother ME about complaining, cuz UR the one who complains all the time.  In ur last letter u complained about the Merrimans dumping their privy on you and u also complained about the complaining too much.  So ya.  ‘Nuff said.  Guess what?  Polly Wickon, like, stole an envelope from me 2day.  She paid $2 4 2 envelopes and they’re $2 each.  Ppl shouldn’t b able 2 buy things when no one is in the shop.  I should propose a new law 2 uncle Edward.  Soooooooooo ur weird.  U let snakes crawl up ur arms?  U should b in the circus!
Lol!  TTYL homie,  Laura

Dear Laura,                                June 1st, 2006
Why do you speak such slang like that?  It’s a shame!!  Why can’t you just stick with Ingles?  Stop complaining about the whole Wickon family!!!  Gosh!  Can you do anything but complain???  Yes, I do have neighbors who dump their privy in our goat shed and faint at the sight of chickens!!!!!!!  Ha!  A garter snake?  Those are harmless!!  They are so cute!!  I like letting them climb up my arm! 
Love, Josefina

Jos-                                  4/18/06
Sup yo!  Howz it hangin’ homie???  Lol, sorry for calling you dude and cool if they mean stupid in your language!  I wuzn’t meaning 2 call u stupid.  Ok!  Ok!  ‘Nuff said about Mrs. W.  Mr. W is so annoying!  Rite now he’s answering 46,818,219,869,925,672 phone calls in his rose bush.  I mean, how weird can you get?  Do u even have NE neighbors? 
Ur so luckE if u don’t!  The camping trip wuz uber cool except for when we ran into this HUMONGOUS dangerous snake.  It was, like, 50 feet long or sumthing!  I can’t remember wut it was called but I think it was a garter snake.  But yeah, howz life cumin’ along 4 u?  Workin’ hard as usual?
Luvs, Laura

Dear Laura,                                4/6/06
Stop calling me dude!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Did you know that dude and cool are another definition of stupid?  Would you stop complaining!!!!!  It’s not like I complain a lot.  You should be more considerate.  I have a hard life too!  Even though you don’t ever think about my hard life.  All you do is complain about Mrs. W and your “dubm” brother and sisters as you call them!  In the next letter I expect more from you.  Now to talk of a more positive subject.  How was your camping trip?  I hope you got through safely.  Well, I should go crush some herbs.
Regards, Josefina

Hola Laura!                                2/12/06
Don’t call me “yo jo!”  por favor!  Estofodo is stew.  At least your brother does nothing but video games!  Juan and Antonio do their chores, but mess up the whole rancho in doing so!  Happy late birthday!  That party that you had was great!  Except that I had to leave when it was just getting started.  Oh well… it seems like the gossip column is always about me and Kirsten’s family!  It isn’t fair that we are the only families gossiped on.  It was crazy, the last newspaper that was delivered to the rancho had a whole page of Suzanne on it!  Suzanne’s gossip column, Suzanne’s dessert column, and Suzanne’s advertisement for singing lessons!  Are you deaf with her singing yet?  Haha! 
J  Love, Josefina

Yo Jo!                              2.7.06
What are compantes?  Ok I know u like pretending to be smart and everything but y don’t u just speak in English when writing 2 me!  What in the world is estofodo?  For breakfast my mom made me a “toad in a hole,” (which isn’t actually a toad in a hole, it’s a piece of bread with a fried egg on top), crispy bacon and assorted fruit.  That’s so cool that you can cure things like headaches!  Did you read what Suzanne wrote about Kirsten in her latest gossip column?  Something like she gallops around the mountain on donkeys and is a hideous baby troll…I mean…where does that kind of nonsense come from?
Luvs, Laura

Dear Laura,  ßHA!                    2.7.06
I spelled it right so no compantes!  Right now I can smell a lovely estofodo with paprika!  Mmmm!  What did you have for lunch?  I say rancho and grand sala because they are Spanish words!  You know if you still have a headache I can cure it!  I agree with you, Prissy Polly is really annoying!  And Suzanne too! Well, gotta go!  Love, Josefina

Dear Jos.                          1.12.06
Guess who has the most annoying neighbors ever?  Me.  That’s who.  I can’t stand anyone in the Wickon family.  ‘Specially Prissy Polly and Suzanne.  I mean seriously, you can’t get weirder than Polly…claiming to be best friends with everyone who says anything remotely close to friendly to her.  Man…Paul  said that Mrs. Wickon wuz trying 2 break in 2 our house the other day, talk about freaky!  Right now Mrs. W is teaching Teresa singing lessons.  I think I feel a headache coming on…I still don’t see a difference between a rancho and a farm.  They’re basically the same, so what’s the big dealio?  So if the grand sala is like a living room except it’s called a grand sala, how come you can’t just call it a living room like a normal person?  Sometimes u really don’t make sense 2 me, Josefina Montoya.  Thx 4 spellin’ my name right.  It’s a start.  LOL.
Luv, Laura

Dear Laura,                      9/25/05
Laura, you should stop saying so much slang!  And I do not work on a farm, Kirsten works on a farm and I work on a rancho, a RANCHO!  And work is going fine, I am weaving a blanket on my loom.  Right now Papa is making adobe walls for our grand sala.  It is like a living room except we call it our grand sala.  What is going on with you?  Thank you for being my penpal again, and I spelled your name right this time! 
Love, Josefina

Dear Jos,                          Sept. 9th, 2005
K so I’m writing to you again.  How r things goin’ on the farm?  Guess what, Kaya squished a bear the other day!  And then she ate it for breakfast!  Yum, bear meat!  I’m so glad we didn’t have skool this week cuz I haven’t even gotten around to my hw yet.  Paul is trying to clean the gutters right now but he doesn’t know how and he just broke mom’s favorite window box…Heather is writing to Megan, (as usual) and my mom is reading the newspaper!  ‘Sup w/u and
ur family?  Ttyl Dude,

My DEAREST Josefina,                       June 14th, 2003
What do you MEAN we’re not penpals anymore?  We’re still writing to each other…therefore we are penpals.  I SO did NOT get a D+ and an F, YOU’RE the one who got a FAIL!  Hehehehehehahahahaha you’re the one who wrote to me in the first place.  We should go swimming sometime!  Maybe I’ll have another pool party this summer.  Glorious sun!  I like your stationary, it’s cool.  Extremely spiffy.  Ok. Bibi,

Hey Joseipoo,                            Feb. 21st, 2003
Oh, by the way Josefina, it might be helpful to your Mamya and Papya if you learned how to READ…I think that your little sisters are going a bit too far if they bug everyone that goes by to eat!!  :P  Antonio wasn’t there when Paul watched the big comfy couch but he watched E.T.  Isn’t it soooo cooool that we don’t have school???!!!!
Bye bye Joseiffi!!


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